#38 DC Brau "The Corruption

The only thing corrupt, is this goddamned beer.

So with all the hub bub about DC Brau coming to Maryland, I thought I'd give them a shot, see what the fuss was all about. I stopped by my favorite shop (The Wine Source), and grabbed a sixer of "The Corruption" and then sat down to talk to myself about this beer. The following is a transcript of that recorded conversation.

That's chili, y0. My chili. AKA Best Chili In The World

Jake: So uh...what do you think? 

Jake: You want the truth? I don't think anything of this beer. I think absolutely nothing.

Jake: Let me stop you right there. I know you, you always think something of everything, even things that don't matter. So, I ask again: What do you think of this beer?

Jake: Fine. I think "fuck this beer." Seriously. There is absolutely nothing interesting about this beer. Especially with everyone in the area getting all stupid excited about it showing up here finally.

Jake: Care to be more, uh, elaborate on that?

Jake [incoherent mumbling]

Jake: I'm sorry, what was that, you mouth breather?

Jake: FINE! Look, this beer is a Columbus hops bomb. There is nothing about this beer that I would ever get excited about. Zero malt body, and the hops is just bitter for the sake of being bitter. Not even a good bitter. It just stays there, on the back of your tongue. It doesn't go anywhere, this beer has no direction, man. You know what I mean? I can picture some idiot going "ZOMG THIS IS SO HOPPY, YO! I'M A CRAFT BEER JUNKIE CAUSE I LOVE THE HOPS, YO!" And I'm just like, "Oh for fucks sake." You need more, man! You need more that just hops. Hops does not always equal "good beer," but too many motherfuckers, uneducated ones at that, think that's the case. But it's not. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE! I'll take the slightest bit of complexity and body over this can of bullshit. 

Jake: ..Tell us how you really feel... 

Jake: I just did! 

Jake: It's a figure of speech, calm your ass down. 

Jake: I'm calmer than you are.

And it's at this point where there is nothing left to transcribe, other than lots of yelling, heavy breathing, grunts. And the sounds of 5 knuckled blows upon faces, and bodies.

I'm going to go play Final Fantasy IIV on my PSP at my gate.

The End